Thursday, November 10, 2016

Referral waiting

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

We are waiting with anticipation for the wonderful referral call.
I know that at some point our agency will probably call to just check in and I am a little bit dreading that and trying to prepare myself that just because I see the number does not mean it is our referral. I have already told the hubby to be prepared if that happens for me to be totally unproductive the rest of the day!  The excitement...the adrenaline...the let down.  

On the other hand, every single day, I think...they might call with our referral today!  No matter what is happening it is such a happy thought to think, today we might know who are daughters will be.  The day passes no call. It is so frustrating and not unlike waiting to go into labor. The baby can't stay inside forever...IT WILL COME OUT!! Similarly we will get a call but the timeline could be hours...days...months....who knows.

Thus far we have done pretty well being positive and optimistic.  With the Holidays fast approaching and being so busy it is easier to put aside adoption anxiousness and focus on other tasks.  I both appreciate and loathe when folks ask us how the adoption is going.  I first thank them for asking.  It is thoughtful.  Then, I do a quick mental debate on sarcasm, blowing it off, full on venting...the options are endless.  Nothing has happened. Our dossier is in Colombia. We were told we would not get a call after it went to Commity on Oct. 10th.  Thus not hearing it was sent back implies it is in the system waiting to be matched with OUR daughters.  The ones destined to become part of our family.  Not just any match...not just hurry up...but come together in its perfect time.

 This leaves me with the unexciting update of, 'they have our Dossier, they will match us.'  The end.  That really is it.  Getting into a hypothetical debate with someone on getting a call today vs. next Wednesday, vs.  4 months from now is not helpful. On the contrary I have found it to be frustrating.  It is easier to live in our happy bubble of optimism then have to discuss the myriad possibilities with folks (ones we have run through ourselves at least 4 dozen times), only to end with, 'so that is what is happening.  Nothing yet.'

We realize it will be nothing until BAM!!! We have a referral and life will be insane and stressful and exciting and we will be moving forward again with the entire process. Until then life continues on.

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